Monday, March 7, 2011

Globus and Formication

In simple terms:
Globus is the feeling of a lump in your throat.
Formication is the sensation of bugs crawling on you.
(Both can be symptoms from my Lyme)

GLOBUS:

The lump in my throat...is it there? MRIs, CAT Scans, X-Rays, and visual exams show nothing. But I feel it.
It's the feeling of hands or maybe just a few fingers pressing just slightly on your throat. Consistantly, 24/7. You know when someone knocks you in the throat, not hard but enough to leave that feeling there for a few minutes and you feel like you just choked a little. Or someone has hands wrapped around your neck but you can breath perfectly fine.  It's a feeling of wanting to vomit, burp, and choking all at the same time.

Naturally, this is a major source of anxiety for someone with a fear of vomiting and a fear that they are having an allergic reaction to everything.

It sounds stupid because any normal person would know if they're throat is closing from an allergic reaction. NOT ME!. How do I know?. I consistantly feel like my throat is closing or closed, yet I can breath. I take deep breathes to make sure. I take a sip of water to make sure it still goes down fine. I'm always checking if I can breath. Stupid? 
When I already feel like I'm choking or can't breath how am I supposed to know when it actualy happends if this is how I feel naturally. Stupid?

This is how I live.
Always checking if I'm still breathing.


FORMICATION:

Bugs. Maybe not bugs just itching. I itch. Mostly at night while I lay in bed when my anxiety from the days stresses set in. After I take my last dose of medication for the night.
Could this be another allergic reaction?
I've taken the same medication for months consecutively. They always say you can suddenly develop a reaction. I'm just aware. More than most.

Constantly checking. Checking for blotches, rashes, hives..any sort of indication I'm allergic.
I just lay there. Trying my hardest not to itch. It could just be anxiety. I could just be itchy. There could be a bug. I could just be allergic.

I'm not allergic.
I've been tested.

But you never really know if those tests are accurate..

No comments:

Post a Comment